Appraisal

Office jawar jonyo griishmo, borsha, fall ba spring, kono season-i bhalo noy bote, kintu sobtheke kharap ni:sondehe ‘appraisal season’.

Jeta amader office-e cholchhe ekhon.

Bhabben na ami amar appraisal niye chintito. dekhe bojha na geleo, jo hoga dekha jayega, etai amar jiiboner niiti. tachhaRa jai hokna keno baRabaRi kichhu hobena bolei amar bishwas. khub bhalo kaaj korini abar khub kharap-o korini. baarkoyek haatepaye dhore deadline 24 ghonta baRate hoyechhe bote kintu kauke mukher opor “amar dwara hobena nije bujhe nin” bolini. kajei talegole paar peye jabo ebareo.

Majhari howar asubidhe achhe anek, kintu subidhei beshi.

Tobu je amar ajkal office-e jawar kotha mone poRlei mukhta ajante pocha badame kamoR poRar moto hoye jachchhe tar jonyo daayii amar gutikoy sohokormii. apnar office-eo enara achhen nirghat. sob office-ei thake. Office, kachhari, school, college, university sorbotro thake. erai poriikkha hall theke beriye lokjonke dhore dhore proshnopotre tuke ana uttor melate lege jay, poriikkhar aager raattir 10:37-e phone kore akash theke poRe, “ seki Pure Exchange Equilibrium korisni, ota to aschhei”, dinner-er por adday ceiling-er dike dhNoya chheRe udas mukh kore bole, ke highest pabe se to jana kothai, omuk sir-er nariijatir proti pokkhopatitwer kotha ki ar jante baki achhe karo?

Pure Exchange General Equilibrium: ami ekhono bhalo kore bujhini, porikkhar ager raate bojhar cheshta korle poriNoti ki hote pare anuman korte parchhen nischoy

Nije ashtoprohor tension-e theke sei tension loker ghaRe jotrototro chalan korai eder swobhab. suurjo je protyekdin sokalbela puurbodike uthhchhe, setao eder mote kono ekta brihottoro shoRojontrer angsho.

Amar jiibondorshon abar eto jotil noy. keu poriikkhay highest pele, ta se chhele meye goru chhagol jei pak na keno, nirghat beshi poRechhe bolei peyechhe ei juktitai amar mathay ase. temni bhalo kaaj korle appraisal bhalo hobe, maine baRbe, noile baRbena, etai amar soja hiseb.

Je hisebta, amar protibeshii Mr. W’r mote, agagoRai bhul. sholo-aanai phNaki. bishoyta naki motei eto sojasapta noy, er moddhye naki ajosro pNyach, akothyo politics, bistor doladoli, dedar paa-chatachati ar entar lyang-maramari achhe.

Coffee room-e dNaRiye edikodik dekhe gola namiye druto haate chini gulte gulte jokhon tini sei maramarir kotha amake bishode bojhate laglen, ki bolbo, amar ghaRer kachher khuchro chulgulo sob khaRa hoye uthhlo. Director naki meeting-e bolechhen, ebochhor koRa haate appraisal hobe. temon temon hole maine baRar bodole komeo jete pare, ‘let go’ hoye jawao bichitro noy.

Ami konomote dhNok gile gola bhijiye niye bollam, “koi ami to janina esob...” W amar proti probol anukompa hene bollen, seta ki kore hoy tini bujhte parchhen na karoN office suddhu sobbai naki jane.

Tarpor bodhoy amar mukhta dekhe tNar maya holo. Coffee hate niye beronor somoy bondhutwopuurNo chokh motke tini bole gelen, amar chinta korar karoN-i nei. chinta korbe tara jara ghonoghono deadline miss korechhe.

Serechhe.

Coffee mathay uthhlo. ami desk-e phire hiseb korte laglam ebochhore ko’bar amar deadline miss hoyechhe. tarpor mone poRlo gotokal sokalbela director-er sathe corridor-e mukhomukhi hoyechhilo. muhuurtota ami baarbaar mathar moddhye rewind korte thaklam. Director-er body language decode korar cheshta korte laglam praNpoN. “Hi how are you” bolar somoy je phike hasita hesechhilen tini, tar kotota nichhok abhyese, ar kotota “eibar ter pabe bachhadhon”, uddhar korte giye oi choRa AC-te boseo amar kopal gheme uthhlo.

30 minute por ar amar kono sondehoi roilo na je jodi keu “let go” hoy, tobe seta ke.  

E-o chhilo kopale, bhogoban?

Konomote angul steady kore speed dial korlam, opaar theke shok-rog-taap-hora gola bhese elo kaane, “ki hoyechhe Sona??”

Ar bNadh manlo na. hNaumau kore ja bollam ati koshte ta uddhar kore maa haha hese uthhlen. tarpor haasi thamiye bollen, “chakri gele gotmotiye baRi chole asbi. maa meyete chhade madur pete shuye shuye akasher tara gunbo. bNacha jabe.”

Badhyo hoyei amake jhNajhiye uthhe bolte holo je yaarkir somoy noy eta motei. maa jante chailen, kaaje gnanoto phNaki diyechhi kina? ichhe kore? phNaki marbo bolei? Office-e karo sathe paaye paa badhiye jhogRa korechhi kina? Boss-er kachhe mitthye mitthye karo naame lagiyechhi kina? protishodh newar jonyo?

Motei na. kokkhono na.

“Tahole kono chinta nei.” maa abhoy den. baRi giye borong naake besh khanikta sorsher tel dhele ghumonor poramorsho den. sheshe mone koran, “bhalo loker kharap hoyna Sona.”

Ami nishchinto hoi. shoto shoRojontrer theory-r cheye ei pNach shobder bakyota mone rakha eksho guN soja. ta se thik bhul jai hok na keno. sobtheke boRo subidhe hochchhe, kothata jodi mene ni, tahole bhalo appraisal pele bhalo lagbe, kharap pele bujhbo nijer doshe peyechhi. du:kho hobe, tobe anek kom.

Appraisal-ke tai ar dorachchhi na motei. jo hoga dekha jayega. ki bolun?