Pros and Cons of Marriage by Charles Darwin

নিচের ফ্যাকাশে ছবিটা হল চার্লস ডারউইনের ডায়েরির একটা পাতার। ১৮৩৮ সালের ৭ই এপ্রিল। চার্লস তখন মনে মনে দূরসম্পর্কের বোন এমা ওয়েজউডকে বিয়ের প্রস্তাব দেওয়ার জন্য তৈরি হচ্ছেন। তবু মনের কোণে কোথাও যেন একটা দ্বিধা আর কাটছে না। তাই ডারউইন খাতা পেনসিল নিয়ে বসে পড়লেন। বিয়ে করলে সুবিধে কী কী আর অসুবিধেই বা কোথায় কোথায়, সব লিস্ট করে লিখে ফেললেন ঝটপট।

Marry	Not marry
Means limited, Feel duty to work for money. London life, nothing but Society, no country, no tours, no large Zoolog. Collect. No books. Cambridge Professorship, either Geolog. or Zoolog. — comply with all above requisites — I could not systematiz zoologically so well. — But better than hybernating in country, & where? Better even than near London country house. — I could not indolently take country house & do nothing — Could I live in London like a prisoner? If I were moderately rich, I would live in London, with pretty big house & do as (B), but could I act thus with children & poor? No — Then where live in country near London; better, but great obstacles to science & poverty. Then Cambridge, better, but fish out of water, not being Professor & poverty. Then Cambridge Professorship, — & make best of it, do duty as such & work at spare times — My destiny will be Camb. Prof. or poor man; outskirts of London, some small Square &c: — & work as well as I can I have so much more pleasure in direct observation, that I could not go on as Lyell does, correcting & adding up new information to old train & I do not see what line can be followed by man tied down to London. – In country, experiment & observations on lower animals, — more space –	Travel. Europe, yes? America???? If I travel it must be exclusively geological United States, Mexico Depend upon health & vigour & how far I become Zoological If I don’t travel. — Work at transmission of Species — Microscope simplest forms of life — Geology.? Oldest formations?? Some experiments — physiological observation on lower animals (B)  Live in London for where else possible –  in small house, near Regents Park –keep horse –take Summer tours Collect specimens some line of Zoology: Speculations of Geograph. range, & Geological general works. — Systematiz. — Study affinities.
Children — (if it Please God) — Constant companion, (& friend in old age) who will feel interested in one, — object to be beloved & played with. — Better than a dog anyhow. – Home, & someone to take care of house — Charms of music & female chit-chat. — These things good for one’s health. — But terrible loss of time. – My God, it is intolerable to think of spending one’s whole life, like a neuter bee, working, working, & nothing after all. — No, no won’t do. — Imagine living all one’s day solitarily in smoky dirty London House. — Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa with good fire, & books & music perhaps — Compare this vision with the dingy reality of Grt. Marlbro’ St.	Freedom to go where one liked — choice of Society & little of it. — Conversation of clever men at clubs — Not forced to visit relatives, & to bend in every trifle. — To have the expense & anxiety of children — perhaps quarrelling — Loss of time. — cannot read in the Evenings — fatness & idleness — Anxiety & responsibility — less money for books &c — if many children forced to gain one’s bread. — (But then it is very bad for ones health to work too much) Perhaps my wife wont like London; then the sentence is banishment & degradation into indolent, idle fool –

অতএব ডারউইন এই সিদ্ধান্তে পৌঁছলেন যে,

Marry — Mary — Marry Q.E.D.

কিন্তু এখানেই শেষ নয়। পরের প্রশ্ন হল,

It being proved necessary to Marry —

When?

Soon

Late

The Governor says soon for otherwise bad if one has children — one’s character is more flexible –one’s feelings more lively & if one does not marry soon, one misses so much good pure happiness. –

But then if I married tomorrow: there would be an infinity of trouble & expense in getting & furnishing a house, –fighting about no Society –morning calls –awkwardness –loss of time every day. (Without one’s wife was an angel, & made one keep industrious). Then how should I manage all my business if I were obliged to go every day walking with my wife. — Eheu!! I never should know French, –or see the Continent –or go to America, or go up in a Balloon, or take solitary trip in Wales –poor slave. –you will be worse than a negro — And then horrid poverty, (without one’s wife was better than an angel & had money) — Never mind my boy — Cheer up — One cannot live this solitary life, with groggy old age, friendless & cold, & childless staring one in ones face, already beginning to wrinkle. — Never mind, trust to chance –keep a sharp look out — There is many a happy slave –

ব্যস, দ্বিধা কেটে গেল। ছমাস পরে দুজনের বিয়েও হয়ে গেল, গোটা দশেক ছানাপোনাও হল। তাঁরা আজীবন একসঙ্গে কাটিয়েছিলেন, যতদিন না ১৮৮২ সালে চার্লস ডারউইন এমাকে ফেলে সারাজীবনের মতো পৃথিবী ছেড়ে পালালেন।

উৎস